Really Bad Tarot

What is Bad Tarot Reading?

A quick history: My friend Ken Boggle does a Tarot card reading for the masses via Facebook Live most weeks. One week he was out of town or something and I, for no particular reason other than wanting attention, said I would step into his shoes and do a Really Bad Tarot Reading and post it on Facebook.

Understand that while I collect Tarot decks, I’ve never done the homework to do a proper Tarot reading. On the rare occasions I actually took them out of their packages, I mostly used them for my own meditations or day to day mundane guidance.

I believe in the power that we give the cards. Once I asked one of my Oracle decks what I should concentrate on for the day and the Romance card came up. It was my damned wedding anniversary and I had forgot! I might have remembered by my second or third cup of coffee…but who knows.

Anyhow…my Bad Tarot Reading was very well received. What I loved most was that many of the messages I was getting were from actual, professional Tarot card readers and psychics telling me what a fantastic job I had done creating a humorous advice column just from the interpretation of the art work.

However…some people expressed concern that I was making light of Tarot readers. One lady said essentially that although I may not mean any harm, Tarot reading is best left to professionals. For a long time I decided that maybe doing them was selfish and I should not take a chance on either hurting someone’s feelings or belittling a trade that I have great respect for.

But the requests for more Bad Tarot Readings kept coming in.

Finally, one weekend I happened to be at a rather poorly attended paracon. There was no way I was going to sell enough T-shirts to make my expenses. Having several of my Tarot decks in my briefcase for no other good reason than the house cats don’t bother them in there, I decided to make a small sign and offer my Bad Tarot Readings in person for a very small price – basically less than I would tip my waitress for a couple of drinks.

I made my expenses! I gave several readings – basically just going back to my original idea of looking at the pictures and making up bullshit. Almost as gratifying for an attention whore like myself, nearly everyone in the building thought my very idea (and crappy hand written sign) was hilarious.

Something else happened though. Some of my “clients” asked actual questions THAT I ANSWERED. The cards actually led me through a series of thoughts that played right into specific situations that they were experiencing. Their responses to the readings told me I was onto something: maybe I can help people get through their problems with humor. Maybe, just maybe, my guides and Angels were trying to tell me something.

Psychics have always told me that I was meant to be a healer. I could never see it. With no training, everything I’ve done in the metaphysical world has been by instinct (or at best some goading from my Spirit Guides). But try as I might, I could never seem to get the results I expected when I attempted to use my Light Worker skills on a living person.

But…just between the two of us…my own life needs to be healed. I have spent countless thousands of dollars in my pursuit of the paranormal and obtaining the answers I seek. Recent changes in consumer habits (screw you Amazon) have caused a steep decrease in business for my day job. Then we were hit (and continue to be) with enormous medical bills from my wife’s cancer treatment. My show sponsorships barely pay the basic cost of production. And my attempt at luring paying members to the web site with members only content fell flat. Anything that takes up my time at this point has to have a monetary benefit to survive.

So I decided to find out if the public that says they love me, will actually support me. My Really Bad Tarot Readings will exist ONLY if the public comes through for me. Most future online Bad Tarot Readings will be made available only to paid members.

I have also come up with a format where I can do Really Bad Tarot Gallery Readings for the conventions that book me (no extra charge for that).

So, please understand. I really am embracing the Tarot as guidance from above. I am just assuming that God’s plan for me takes into consideration my tendency towards being a raging smart-ass. And of course, as I say during my face-to-face readings “I could be wrong.” (and it’s funnier with the hand gesture)