Tag Archives: tarot

My Really Bad Tarot Card Reading for the Week of January 21 2018

Sorry about being “offline” for a while when it comes to the Really Bad Tarot Card Readings. I got busy over Christmas, and then the weather went into total SUCK MODE, and to be blunt I have not felt inspired.

I’m still not particularly inspired, but I owe to my adoring fans (all twelve or so) to soldier through my funk and produce my usual high-quality product.

For today’s reading we have two premiers. This is the first time I have ever used this particular deck, The Winged Enchantment Oracle Deck, and this is the first time I have ever used an oracle deck to do a Really Bad Tarot Card Reading. While I realize that an oracle deck is technically not a tarot deck, thus this week’s installment should be called Really Bad Oracle Card Readings, but branding is everything.

For this week’s guidance I drew the Grouse card. Okay, it fell out of the deck while I was shuffling. These things are really big and hard as hell to shuffle. My respect goes out to all of the tarot card readers having to go through this struggle each and every time a client sits down across the table.

That…or maybe I just never noticed that successful tarot readers have freakishly large hands. Whatever.

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Weekend Really Bad Tarot Reading for January 27

For this weekend’s Really Bad Tarot Reading I drew THE EMPRESS (insert scary music here) from my Tarot of Fire deck.

Apparently this chick is pissed off and can shoot smoke from her fingers. Since I am not predicting that you are going to become an X-Man named Fingersmoke, there must be a deeper meaning to this card…or at least something that I can pull out of my ass. Continue reading Weekend Really Bad Tarot Reading for January 27

Weekend Really Bad Tarot Reading For January 20th

I drew some cats in a boat with swords stuck in it. Since cats notoriously hate water it seems a bit silly that they would poke a bunch of holes in the bottom of their boat willy-nilly. This tells me that events this weekend may not make sense, but that if you neatly poke holes in the arguements of your detractors that you will still stay afloat in the end.

Also notice that the cat standing in the boat is holding a stick. Since cats do not have opposable thumbs this means that this will be a great weekend to try something that you thought was impossible. But don’t stand up in the boat…that’s dangerous…it’s a damned cat and cat’s are stupid.