Tag Archives: Attention Whore

My Really Bad Tarot Card Reading for the Week of February 10 2018

Image February 9, 2018 Wes Forsythe

There seems to be some confusion about my Really Bad Tarot Card Readings.

Because the “meat” of the reading is reserved for my Friends of Filler subscribers to my web site, the part you are reading THIS VERY MOMENT is in fact the PROLOGUE: the teaser if you will.

The prologue is where I set up the reading. I bitch about something, post a picture of the card that I drew, sometimes bitch some more and frequently say the first thing that comes to my mind that usually has absolutely NOTHING to do with my actual interpretation of the card.

If you were to be getting a personal, face-to-face Really Bad Tarot Card Reading from me and I pulled…say…the devil card for example: I would probably scream and throw it over my shoulder just to see the look on your face.

As a point of full disclosure, I will point out at this time that my actual interpretation of the drawn card may not be a “damn-sight” more accurate than the first flippant comment that I make. My readings are not about accuracy so much as they are about letting Spirit guide me to some pop-psychology bullshit that we can all sink our proverbial teeth into.

Now, everyone can relax and stop texting me the “correct” interpretations of my cards and let the rest of us have some fun.

I feel like being challenged so today I chose the Tarot of Fire. While it is a beautiful deck, it is one of my least favorites from my collection because so much of the imagery is dark and it just usually isn’t very much fun. I soldier on.

Let’s look at the 5 of swords from this deck.

Yep, that is in fact a lady hanging from a goose. The goose is carrying a torch! And that probably means nothing because this is the Tarot of Fire and all of the cards incorporate fire in some fashion.

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My Really Bad Tarot Card Reading for the Week of February 4 2018

Image February 2, 2018 Wes Forsythe

As I pursue my new career as a Part Time Really Bad Tarot Card Reader, I am looking at a couple of very real possibilities in my life.

Either my Spirit Guides have my back and are deeply and actively involved in seeing that I get the correct cards from the deck…

or I am quite possibly the absolute worst card shuffler (at least with all of their fingers intact) on the face of God’s green earth.

As soon as I started my “process” (and by process I mean shuffling the cards while hoping that I don’t draw some really depressing card that makes me evaluate my life choices), not one, but TWO cards flew from the deck.

Now last week I was able to excuse my lack of coordination by blaming the size of the deck (tarot cards tend to run “large”). No such luck this week. For this week’s Really Bad Tarot Card Reading I am using The Wonderland Tarot which is made up of cards the same size as your typical poker deck.

So…horrible hand-eye coordination or a direct message from my Guides and Angels? I shall let you decide.

Maybe they just dropped sadly to my desk. Whatever, dude.

This week our “draw” (or sad drop to the my desk if you prefer) was The Devil and The Fool. So either I am a fool for letting Satan lead me down this path to hell or….

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Bad Tarot

My Really Bad Tarot Card Reading for the Week of January 21 2018

Image January 20, 2018 Wes Forsythe

Sorry about being “offline” for a while when it comes to the Really Bad Tarot Card Readings. I got busy over Christmas, and then the weather went into total SUCK MODE, and to be blunt I have not felt inspired.

I’m still not particularly inspired, but I owe to my adoring fans (all twelve or so) to soldier through my funk and produce my usual high-quality product.

For today’s reading we have two premiers. This is the first time I have ever used this particular deck, The Winged Enchantment Oracle Deck, and this is the first time I have ever used an oracle deck to do a Really Bad Tarot Card Reading. While I realize that an oracle deck is technically not a tarot deck, thus this week’s installment should be called Really Bad Oracle Card Readings, but branding is everything.

For this week’s guidance I drew the Grouse card. Okay, it fell out of the deck while I was shuffling. These things are really big and hard as hell to shuffle. My respect goes out to all of the tarot card readers having to go through this struggle each and every time a client sits down across the table.

That…or maybe I just never noticed that successful tarot readers have freakishly large hands. Whatever.